


Gas Leak

by LiinHaglund



Category: Weiß Kreuz
Genre: Assassins & Hitmen, Diet, Farting, Gen, Lactose Intolerance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-30
Updated: 2016-04-30
Packaged: 2018-06-05 09:58:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 666
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6700321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LiinHaglund/pseuds/LiinHaglund
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A healthy diet prevents embarrassing moments.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Gas Leak

Youji left the room in a hurry. “ _What_ do you _eat_ anyway? Roadkill? Rats?” he grumbled at Ken. It was becoming a problem.

“It's not like your farts smell like roses either,” Ken called after him.

“This is _not_ normal, Ken!” Youji yelled back.

Youji startled and nearly jumped into the air when Aya appeared from nowhere. The man was a walking heart attack inducer. Youji placed a hand over his heart. “Please don't do that. I'm not getting younger.”

“I called a doctor, he said it's probably that his body can't properly digest milk,” Aya said in that bland tone of his. “Lactose intolerance.”

“He lives off of milk. Ice cream, milk before bed _like a damned foreigner_ , butter, cheese, yogurt, milk with corn flakes – need I continue?” Youji sighed and buried his face in his hands. “It's in all he eats!”

“We need to get Omi to talk to him,” Aya suggested the easiest solution.

Youji met his eyes and nodded. If anyone could guilt trip a person into changing their life it was Omi. “Do we have to bring him to the mission?” It was still an hour before they had to leave.

Aya screwed his face up like he had bitten into a lemon, but slowly nodded.

“Great. I'm gonna go change.” Youji left Aya and went to change and get ready. He didn't actually need an hour, but his room didn't smell like a week old corpse. He was glad Ken had his bike, there was no way anyone would want to sit in a car with him presently.

Youji only realized he had left his bedroom door open when Aya walked in and sat in his ratty old desk chair. Not that Youji minded that any, Aya was good company. Anger management issues aside, he was a decent guy.

“Pumbaa getting ready?”

Aya smirked a little at the joke. “Mm.”

“Is it wrong of me to want to use him like biological warfare?” Youji asked. He was joking, of course, but _something_ had to be done. Preferably soon.

“Almost makes you wish Schwarz would show up. We could see if they would dare shoot at him and risk it getting worse.” Trust Aya to revel in the dark and devious.

Youji snickered. He checked his gear and then turned to Aya, who already had his sword, and shrugged as if to say 'we might as well get going'. Aya nodded once and then they left together. Youji wasn't sure how or when, but they had become good enough friends that he had started to have wordless conversations with the younger man.

The missions were dull lately, but Youji still nearly wanted to strangle Ken instead of the target.

“For fucks sake, Siberian,” he swore quietly when he heard a very, very loud fart. The hired guards in the place also heard it. How could they not? It was like a small explosion in the empty hallway.

“Ken,” Omi whined over the communications system, forgetting to use code names.

Youji swore again. They would have to fight their way through now instead of being stealthy.

“Bombay, if I don't kill him tonight you are going to talk to him about his diet,” Aya's measured voice rang out clearly through the ear-piece Youji had. “Balinese, get your ass to the top floor and help me out.”

That was far away from Ken. “Understood.”

“Sorry,” Ken muttered defensively.

Youji heard Omi swear when the boy got near Ken to back him up, but he didn't have the time to listen to any more due to arriving where Aya wanted him.

“How do you casually request back up when you're swamped?” Youji asked. He would have been screaming his head off.

Aya didn't actually reply, and Youji had long ago stopped expecting replies. They just took out the guards and then Youji kept vigil while Aya killed the target. He was unusually brutal and Youji made a mental note to check him for injuries.

 

 


End file.
